Marriage, Break-Ups, and Everything In-Between..

After a very productive morning at church praying for my friends, family, and everything else.. I need to express some things and get them off my chest. I have a really close friend, and yes he will read this, but he shall remain anonymous.. He and I had a long conversation last night and then a little while today. He is in a bad situation right now. His wife of 10 years packed up and left him. The only thing she left was their daughter. I talked to her last night also, and she is not abandoning her daughter, but did not want to upset her daughter's routine for a couple of days. Normally I wouldn't involve myself in a situation like this, but the two of them have been really good to me the past several years, helping me through my divorce by offering me anything I needed. Luckily I didn't need their help, but they would both do anything for me.

I have watched the two of them at each others throats the past month. I have been an outside observer and they both confide in me. I know the real story of their situation, but I will not let on that I do until one of them admits it. The one who will ultimately suffer the most in this situation is their daughter. She hears and sees mommy and daddy arguing, and she starts to cry. Uncle Andy here had the good luck of being there for one of their arguments, and all I could do was pick up their 3 year old daughter and hold her tight while mommy and daddy had their little scream fest.

The only bright spot in their arguing is there is no physical abuse going on. She would tell me if their was, and so would he. They both know how I feel about domestic violence, and they know I could tell if it was going on. Still, this has to stop between them. Their daughter needs them.

The whole ironic thing about this situation is this. They both told me how I needed to quickly rebound from my divorce and go out and find the next Mrs. Andy. This was 3 years ago. They both tell me that I'll be so happy, and I need to get married and have a whole boat load of kids. These things were said as recently as 2 weeks ago. I really believe they say these things for only one reason. They miss being single and dating. They miss having a social life, and not having to answer to anyone.

Now, don't get me wrong on this. I would love to be married to the RIGHT woman, be a good father, and settle sown. That will all come in God's time, not mine. When He is ready for me to settle down and commit, it will happen. I absolutely refuse to go out on a wife hunt or be set up on blind dates just because my friends think i'm lonely. There are no bills, my house is paid for and rented out, and I am happy. My life is drama free, and I really like it that way. God has someone for me, but not right now. I have several things in my life to accomplish before that happens..

So if any of you read this and it hits home in a good way, i'll be happy..

So Very Fortunate..

There is a time in everyone's life when they are down. There can be several ways of being down. We can be "down in the dumps", "down and out", "down on our luck", or just plain down. Many people recover from this quickly. Many of us will take a longer time of snapping back. But, there are those of us who have to take the whole journey. The journey to hell and back. Sometimes that journey turns into permanent residence in hell for some people.

When we decide to stay for awhile in hell, we find that everyone else is against us. Every bad thing in our lives that should have made us stronger has made us so weak, that hell seems like a long lost home. We feel we're content with the life we've made and we can't imagine living any other way. We like to blame all of the people that have led us to hell. We remind them all of the time that it is because of them that we are here in hell. We decide to give up. Hell is the life for us. There is one thing that is notably absent in hell. There are no mirrors. There is a reason for that. Mirrors are a gateway to the real reason why we are in hell. If we look in the mirror, we see the REAL reason we are in hell.

Because WE choose to be.

If it sounds like i'm speaking from personal experience, I am. I chose my own brand of hell for many years. Everyone else who loved me put me there. It was all their faults. I wasn't to blame for any of it. That was the lie that I believed. Granted there are some people in this world who take great joy in the suffering of others, we still choose to let them affect us. We don't see the great strength that God has implanted in each and every one of us. We eventually get to the point that God has to show us that we have that inner strength. We get to the point where God has to say, "..pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put your Big Boy undies back on and get back in the game!!"

We also suffer from blindness. We don't see that our loved ones (friends, lovers, family) aren't out to get us, but truly love us and we continually turn them away. We don't want any help from anyone. We don't want to be bothered. We don't see the love that is shown to us. We don't return that love to others either. There is only one way to be able to return that love that has been given.. We have to begin to love ourselves!!

That begins for us by giving up and getting out of hell. Look in the mirror, and see the REAL problem. Trust in God also makes us stronger. Letting Him take over our lives will eventually bring new and welcome change to our lives. John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

We have to lay down that old way of life. Give it up. We have those we love to think about. This post is to all of my friends. All of those who love me and who have stuck by me through the past several years. It has been a rocky road, and it still is an everyday climb. Things in this life will try us all. There will be suffering and sorrow, but in the end it is all what we make of it. Kanye puts it well.... That that don't kill me can only make me stronger..

I love you all very much!!

Covering Just About Everything....

I have to say this.. I love this life. When you can talk to someone you haven't talked to in a long time, sit and talk for three hours, and cover just about everything in your lives from the most tragic to the terribly funny, that is a blessing. It just doesn't get any better than that. Having my life isn't bad. I used to think that things were not that good. But now, my outlook has changed the past several months, and things only keep getting better. It just goes to show one simple fact.. If you ask God anything, in His time, your life will be blessed.