Officer Bryan Durman's death has touched many, including me. I didn't know Bryan, but I know many who did. They are feeling sadness and loss of a good friend, co-worker, and mentor. When someone like that touches your life, it leaves a hole when they are gone. Officer Durman helped many people while in his job. Police officers these days seem to get the short end of the stick when it comes to recognition. Usually when the police department is mentioned on tv or in news, it is a bad occasion. We seem to hear the bad things associated with them and none of the good. Look at it this way. These men and women leave their families, put on a gun and a badge, and become moving targets every day. They have to be mediators, problem solvers, and care takers for total strangers. All the while making very low pay. Usually when we hear someone speak of the police, it is in the context of, "man, the cops are never around" or "all they do is ride around and do nothing.." Believe me all the police officers I know are not like that. They work hard, they have families, and their job takes up most of their time.
I worked for 20 years as an EMT, Paramedic, Firefighter, and as a police and fire dispatcher. I wanted to do it all. I got to know many police officers from different agencies. All good people, and hard working people. One of my closest friends is a retired police officer, and all the things he went through in his career got him a retirement and a watch. Even he is hurting now by this tragedy. He didn't know Officer Durman either.
As far as loss, in my career i've experienced it also. Feb 17, 1997 I lost a very good friend in the line of duty. Chuck died doing the job he loved. I felt a terrible loss that I never really started dealing with until the last 8 months. I didn't share about it very much, I dealt with it in a different way. Now I am able to tell the story. On the night of his death I spoke with him on the phone. I was working in LFUCG fire dispatch that night, and I took the calls and put out the initial dispatch. My 29th birthday was coming up that week, and Chuck and I talked about him and bunch of others going to Hooters to celebrate my birthday that week when we were off. That was the last time I talked to him. About 4 hours later, I took the call and sent them to the fire where his life ended. Many years have passed, even though when the investigation was over and his arsonist was sent to prison, I still second guessed myself on many things.. Did I miss a mayday on the radio? Could I have done something differently? Even though I did everything right, I still second guessed myself.. That's called guilt. My friend and co-worker was dead, and the guilt and sorrow just kept festering.
Now I am free of those feelings. Through talking about it, praying about it, and choosing a career as an alcohol and drug counselor, I can continue to work through these things. Any of Bryan's co workers who may read this just remember this.. It is okay to be sad and to grieve. Grieve and lean on each other, talk to each other, pray with each other, and get back out there and be the best you can be..
